I had a great weekend. I did. I visited a vineyard, had lovely meals, drank great wine and even danced with a group of very silly (my favorite type) of English people. So why did I wake up feeling so sad?

Last night’s good time involved a fab party. But somehow rather than reflecting in the good time, I’m left longing for friends & family in the States and NZ. These are people that I would love to invite over for a party.

Then there’s the problem with inviting people for a party. Parties are just not something Stephen and I do in our apartments. That then makes me long for a house. Something we will not commit to until we commit to where we’re going to live.

This adventure has been great. But there has been compromise. Most of the time I’m okay with that. But today I’m feeling overwhelmed. This disconnect from permanency, old friends, and a job are all making me just feel unhinged. I rarely go there. But when I do, it reminds me of what I’ve given up….to get what we have. And that isn’t a pleasant reality.