The C word

A couple of weeks ago between zoom PPTs I received a call on my cell phone. The cell service at DHS is awful so I had to get up and walk into the conference room and practically smash my face against the window to be heard. It was my GP calling to give me the results of a biopsy. Even through the crackly line, I could hear her sweet cheerful voice and I knew that this was just a routine call back. I gave her my office number and awaited her call. I answered and once again was met with her pleasantness. My only thought was that I like this lady. 

Shock is putting it mildly when I try to explain how I felt when she told me that I had cancer. As she kept talking to me, all I heard was a muffled noise. I didn’t want to be rude, but I needed her to stop talking. After sitting and listening for a bit I apologized and told her I had to go. 

I immediately called Stephen. Of course, he answered in the charmingly stupid way he does pretending to be Portuguese with his minute-long greeting. I interrupted him. I told him that I had cancer. In that moment I passed the shock to him. I didn’t mean to, but that is what happened. I then hung up and called my principal. She didn’t answer. That was probably best as I am closer to my VP. She, being the gorgeously wonderful person she is, offered to come and give me a hug. I demanded that she not. Not only are we in a pandemic, but she is pregnant, VERY pregnant, and I did not want to risk getting her sick. I asked her simply to tell the other building admin as I needed them to know, but I didn’t want to talk about it. 

Then I washed my face and attended a 12:30 PPT. 

Do not ask me how I spent the rest of the day. That, I can not tell you. What I can tell you is that when I walked in the door Stephen met me and hugged me. AS he held me he assured me that this was simply another adventure that we were going to take together. 

Although they do not define me, the numbers don’t lie

I am a runner and a yoga practitioner. By all accounts, I am pretty fit. I try to eat whole foods and for the most part, I eat plant-based. All of the above is true. 

What is also true is that I love wine. Typically I save that for the weekends, but during quarantine every day has been a weekend, right? I also really LOVE dark chocolate (vegan) and my ultimate vice is potato chips. I won’t even tell you how much of those I consume, but it’s bad. 

When we lived in Portugal I walked a lot: to the kids’ school, to the shops, to the beach and if I needed to go further, I would often walk to the train station to get myself to whatever destination. This, plus a more flexible schedule allowed me to keep my weight down 7-10lbs lighter than what I have weighed since my return to the United States. Since coming back, my work schedule combined with the kids’ manic activity schedules gave me a perfect excuse for missed workouts, quick snacks and some less healthy, but quick meals for the family. 

Now, flash forward to quarantine. I am one of the lucky ones who still has a job. It’s different, but I am still able to do my work from home and get paid for it. What I also now have is a few more hours that I no longer use to commute to work or drive my son around. Yesterday I decided that I needed to take advantage of this time to get my weight back on track. 

If you go to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services website you can calculate your BMI. This allows you to see what weight category you are in: 

BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
Overweight = 25–29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

I won’t tell you how much I weigh, but I will tell you that my BMI is currently 26.6 which puts me just in the overweight range. Now please, I am in no panic about this. I know that I have a lot of muscle mass. I know that I am a good person and that I am loved. But, I also know that I have a few pounds to lose. So I am going to lose them and I am going to keep them off!

I am also lucky in that I have been able to get some guidance from an Ayurvedic practitioner. I had sought Kathy out not because of a need to lose weight but because I had been having some medical issues since January. I was also worried about not getting restful sleep and having very low energy. I signed up for a 5 week online course and I am already feeling better. This idea to lose weight had nothing to do with my wanting to learn more about Ayurveda, but as I considered what I was putting in my body, I had to acknowledge that not all I consume is benefitting my health. 

I assure you I will still be having wine with my dear friends on our zoom chats, and ice cream with my kids some evenings, but this time is a gift of sorts. And I am silly to not make the most of it. 

God bless anyone reading this and my wish for you is that you stay safe and healthy.

XOXO